The Goodbye Crutches Blog

How to turn a broken foot into a permanent disability

Posted by Tom Schwab

Avoid by using a Knee ScooterThe human body is a wonderful thing.  It knows when it is injured and signals all its strength to repair itself.  Bones heal, tendons regain strength, and pain stops.  Add to this wonder the blessings of modern proper medical care and you are most likely going to heal uneventfully.  Yet if you long for the days when an injury resulted in both a great tale and a pronounced limp and a distinctive walk similar to the monster Frankenstein, there are actions you must continually take to increase the chances you can turn your broken foot into a permanent and life changing disability. 

 

 Disregard everything your Doctor tells you.  You must always understand medical professional are trying to heal you, so they are working against your goal of a permanent disability. They have waiting rooms full of patients and really just want to get you healed.  Some of this comes from a personal vanity not wanting to tarnish there reputation by not being able to heal a common fracture.  Never follow any of their advice.

Keep it moving.  Have you ever tried to glue together two objects in constant motion? It's just as difficult for your body to heal when there's motion.  The doctor may try to immobilize you with a cast and crutches, but even with these you can put enough pressure to keep that healing fracture site moving.  If you do this for months the body will give up trying to heal itself.  The good news is that it doesn't even have to be enough weight bearing to cause you pain.  Just disregard the No in No Weight Bearing

Make it complicated.  Complications can change everything.  Getting your cast wet can lead to bacteria next to your skin.  Not only can this cause the cast to itch and smell it can also cause wounds on the skin.  A coat hanger forced between the skin and the cast can help open the skin and allow the surface bacteria become a full blown infection. 

Feed a fever, starve a fracture.  Bone and tissue need nutrients to heal.  While even junk food seems to be vitamin fortified there are things you can do to out smart nature.  Nicotine restricts blood flow and blood brings nutrients.  More smoking means less healing.  Alcohol can also have this effect, plus if your a diabetic it can mess with your blood sugar which also helps inhibit healing.  Those frequent trips to the bathroom can provide you another opportunity to walk on your healing foot and cause motion.

Say No to RehabJust say no to rehab.  So you've done everything possible, but the bone still has healed.  Just because it's clinically healed on an x-ray doesn't mean it ever has to be functional.  Months of treatment in a cast or boot has left you weak and stiff. You can't even walk normally.  Your Doctor may give you a series of stretches and exercises to help your recovery.  They may even refer you to work with a Physical Therapist.  They like the Doctor are working against your plan for a permanent disability. Disregard all suggestions and urgings.  A stiff immobile foot can be as dehabilitating as a broken foot.

This is how to turn a relatively easy injury into a permanent disability.  Depending on your success this could mean preferred parking, a distinctive limp, and tall tales  of how you out smarted biology and the best medical advice to turn temporary inconvenience into a life changing event.    

If you are actually trying to heal find out if there is a better option to crutches that might fit your needs by taking this quick on line quiz.

 

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Topics: Foot / Bunion, Laugh

    

 

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