What do you say to a hitch hiker on crutches?
Hop On In!!
Jerry was in the hospital recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling. “I’m OK but I didn’t like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery,” he answered. “What did he say,” asked the nurse. “OOPS!”
Q: What's a crutch's favorite song? A: Lean on me
An Old man went to the doctor complaining of a terrible pain in his leg. “I am afraid it’s just old age”, replied the doctor, “there is nothing we can do about it.” “That can’t be” fumed the old man, “you don’t know what you are doing.” “How can you possibly know I am wrong?” countered the doctor. “Well it’s quite obvious,” the old man replied, “my other leg is fine, and it’s the exact same age!”
I overheard a father yelling at his toddler who refused to sit still in the shopping cart “If you fall down and break your leg don’t come running to me.”
You better get hoppy soon, or you won't have a leg to stand on
This guy is in the hospital with two broken legs that he got from a car crash.
The nurse comes into the room that he is in and says that she has good news and bad news. The guy asks for the bad news first. The nurse says, ''We're going to have to remove your legs.''
Then the guy asks for the good news. The nurse says, ''The guy beside you wants to buy your sneakers.''
A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear. "What's the matter with me?" he asks the doctor. The doctor replies, "You're not eating properly."
A well respected surgeon was relaxing on his sofa one evening just after arriving home from work. As he was tuning into the evening news, the phone rang. The doctor calmly answered it and heard the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line. "We need a fourth for poker," said the friend. "I'll be right over," whispered the doctor. As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, "Is it serious?" "Oh yes, quite serious," said the doctor gravely. "In fact, three doctors are there already!"
A man went to the doctor to get a physical, after the doctor examined him, he told the man he had some bad news... he had cancer and Alzheimer’s. The man replied, "Well, at least I don't have cancer"